Really Me – Stress & Anger Edition

That Dude Rory who is A Guy Called Bloke is asking the questions. He’s working hard to give lazy people like me a way to add content to the ol’ blog. Or maybe he’s creating a detailed dossier on each of us. Either way, here are his questions and my answers.

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How well do you handle stress?

It depends on the stress. Since I entered the Zen Zone, I’ve gotten a lot better at not letting little things bug me. Even with Ben being out of school for two weeks (he went back on Monday, thank goodness) and Christmas and Older Daughter coughing up a lung and Younger Daughter having my car approximately five days a week, I was mostly chill.

It will occasionally build up and I’ll huff and puff and get a little cranky but it blows over pretty quickly.

With a major episode, I am excellent. I go into a complete TCB mode and am completely calm. Then after whatever the situation was is handled and everything is back to normal, I fall apart. Luckily there haven’t been any major episodes in a while.

 

How well do you handle your anger?

I don’t get angry very often. I get irked at some of the stuff Ben does, but it’s useless to get angry about it. Plus, he can feel or sense when I’m angry and it weirds him out and he starts acting out and doing irritating stuff, so anger is just counterproductive in general.

Every once in a while though, something happens and my extremely long fuse reaches its end and I go ka-blooey! and turn into Lou Ferrigno. It’s not pretty. That’s when you’ll find me bashing inanimate objects with a baseball bat or slamming things and mumbling gibberish under my breath. I’ve even gone outside and let loose a few primal screams. Or thrown myself down on my bed and thrashed around, kicking my feet. I used to go for walks and pound my anger into the pavement with my feet, but I’ve slacked on the walking so if I tried that now I’d probably give myself a pulled muscle or three or dang heart attack.

Usually the huffing and puffing releases enough so it doesnt build up. Plus, I avoid people. People cause anger.

 

When was the last time you really lost your temper through stress?

I can’t remember the last time I lost my temper because of stress. The last few times I’ve gone ka-blooey was because one of my daughters did something irritating. That’s different than a stress build-up. I think I internalize whatever stress I do feel and wind up with my shoulders up by my ears or a wicked headache. If it’s in the middle of ‘being a peasant to HRH’ time, I take a morphine. Other than that, I just try to relax and get some sleep.

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It’s kind of amazing to me that I’m still feeling so chill most of the time. I spent so many years stressed and hurt and angry that I still question my newfound Zen. I DO eventually learn though, so I’m not questioning too hard or too often. I’m just gonna go with it.

How about you? Are you finding your Zen or are you ready to open a can of whoop-ass on some truly deserving idjit?

 

(images are Rory’s)

44 thoughts on “Really Me – Stress & Anger Edition

    1. I wish I understood how it happened.๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ I’d love to help people learn to chillax. But that’s another thing I’ve learned, people have to walk their own paths. I’d like to make thing easier for my daughters especially but they need to learn their life lessons. Standing back and waiting for them to request help, then only offering minimal support is difficult.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Hey Grandma, mm, l see a lot of the same symptoms here that l have. I too have a very long fuse until it suddenly becomes a shorter fuse. I can tolerate a lot os stressful situations – but in recent months, both Suze and my own stress levels are being injured and rucked up daily with the emotional stress of Scrappy and her K9 Dementia – we are nearing the time of release and we had hoped she would slip away, but that is looking less and less likely now – but the stress package is now phenomenal daily which is why my volatility is at an all time high.

    Thanks for playing the game and answering this weeks questions ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s so unfair that such a good dog is having such a ridiculous end. It’s unfair to her (even if she doesnt know) and it’s unfair to you and your memories of her.
      Definitely not good for yours or Suze’s stress levels.

      Of course, maybe the whole dementia stress thing is the universe’s way of easing her passage for you and Suze. Yes, you’ll miss her, but be grateful it’s over kind of thing.๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Me too! I swear, when the crisis is at a 10 I am completely calm. It’s my super power. But I do get angry – I’d like to blame a lot on hormones. There are days that I react to a level 5 situation with a level 10+ reaction and I stun myself. Then I look at the calendar and take some cleansing deep breaths ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, those hormones aren’t fun! I used to tell the girls to stay away, that I couldn’t help it, but I was likely to cause emotional injury. It still trips me out when I’m affected by Older Daughter’s cycle since I dont have one anymore. The drop in hormone production is what causes menopause. It’s all bizzaro, just like me๐Ÿ˜œ

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Zen, Iโ€™m sitting here wanting to write that zen rocks it but that seems a little loud for zen ๐Ÿ˜‚. Nevertheless, Iโ€™ll go with it. I love all the different ways of tuning into it or finding it or letting it find me. Wherever it comes from..itโ€™s a rainbow in a storm ๐Ÿค—โค๏ธ๐ŸŽถ

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I read the thoughts of yourself and Rory but couldnโ€™t really produce answers myself. I do get a bit stressed from time to time but my reaction to that is to go further into my shell – to cut everything off.
    I donโ€™t get angry in any sort of โ€˜out of controlโ€™ sense. Any anger I display is manufactured for effect – I donโ€™t really feel the emotion. I honestly donโ€™t know how to blow the horn in my car – I have never used it.
    And as for stress producing anger? It does the opposite. Maybe there is a bit of Zen happening there but, more likely, it is the control freak in me taking over. Even if I did get angry I would not let anyone see it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m learning more and more just how useless stress and anger are most of the time… anger especially.
      The ‘manufactured anger’ sounds like my ‘huffing and puffing’. I do it mostly when Ben is really pushing my buttons and I get a little loud and tell him he’s making me nuts and I’m not here to be his personal servant… stuff like that. He just gives me a look like ‘Okay crazy lady. Now do the thing I asked you to do’ ๐Ÿ˜‚ It’s a little vent, like when a soda or beer is first opened and there’s that hiss of carbonation.

      Its interesting how different people handle stress and anger.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My grandson is staying with me at the moment. He is a genuinely beautiful person. But I keep reminding him, โ€œin 50 years or so youโ€™ll understand how annoying a ball bouncing, again and again and again, on the kitchen floor can be – or how answering 75 completely unrelated questions before lunch might be a tiny bit taxing.โ€

        Liked by 2 people

  5. I’m a slow burner as well, when it comes to anger, but I had to teach myself to be that way. I grew up in an Italian family (on my father’s side), and it was all about instant anger and revenge and emotional torture. It mortified me, both their actions and the similar instincts I could feel growing in myself. So I forced myself to not be like them until THAT became my instinct. But when I DO blow, I blow.

    As for the anxiety angle, I take drugs for that. Mmm hmm.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You go Lou Ferrigno Ka-blooey too, huh? It seems to be true for a lot of us ‘long fuse’ peoples.๐Ÿค”
      Drugs are helpful. Without fentanyl and morphine I would have no life. My doc wont let me have valium (stoopid DEA rules making doctors nervous) so when I get super stressed and cant hide, there’s cannabis(legal for medical & recreational use), which is okay with the doc. I’m a total lightweight though so I cant use it when I’m on Ben Dutyโ˜น

      Liked by 2 people

        1. I have fentanyl in my intrathecal pain pump, the morphine is for ‘breakthrough’ pain. I’m happy to have a Morphine buddy๐Ÿค I’ve been taking pain meds so long they dont make me loopy anymore. It’s when I have Ben Duty that I seem to need them most๐Ÿ™„

          Like

          1. My life is one big Breakthrough Pain ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ By the end of our day if there’s been a good deal of physical activity, I’m so happy to have it. A great relief for now. Just takes some safety planning….grrooan!

            Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, punching walls just busts up your hand. I used to occasionally punch walls. It always seemed like I was nearest one of the brick walls of our old house when I got that angry. At least I never put holes in the walls๐Ÿ™„
      I made up alternative course words that get the feelings out and can be said in front of anyone. My daughters picked up on them and now their friends and co-workers use them too.๐Ÿ˜‚ I’m a trend-setter๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿคช๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ
      Physical stuff really DOES help release the intensity. Too bad you’d get arrested if you released your frustrations on the people who caused them. I believe the whoop-ass is more than warranted in your case.๐Ÿ˜ก
      ๐Ÿ’Œ

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you!!๐Ÿค—๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿผ I got bounced at 4am but Older Daughter got up and I got to stay in bed and sleep til 9am๐Ÿ˜ฒ and then I got a shiny, sparkly gold star with The Ramones & a fab quote?! ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿฅ‚
      Even if the rest of the day is icky, I’ve had a FANTASTIC morning!!๐Ÿคฉ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿผ๐ŸŒป

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 9?! I donโ€™t even remember the last time I made it to 9 ๐Ÿ˜‚. But, in fairness I donโ€™t get bounced as much as you do at night…except by pups. ๐Ÿถ๐Ÿพ. Friday night was bad and i trudged through yesterday with sleepy eyes like a countdown to my pillows! ๐Ÿ˜‚ Cheers to a FANTASTIC starry start! โœจ๐Ÿ’ƒโœจ๐Ÿ˜˜

        Liked by 1 person

          1. A fine and FANTASTIC starry start for me just as yesterday was for you! Very good omen charm. Ooh that has a ring to it. Omencharm hmm. Super Sunday to you!! Hope you get some dancing in ๐Ÿคฉ๐ŸŒŸ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ’Œ๐ŸŒทโค๏ธ

            Liked by 1 person

  6. The Zen Zone is clearly working for you. For all that you go through daily, you need to release. Like you said, maybe bringing walking back into your world might help you even more.
    We had lost our internet service for a little over 24 hours between yesterday to this morning. Thank God, I had some old CD’s with meditation music. I woke up after having yet another nightmare and the music always calms me way down.
    Then I ended up sleeping most of the day away. Peanut is so confused over my mood being up/down in as many days, but he’s been so loveable and taking care of me more than I take care of him. ๐Ÿ’“

    Liked by 1 person

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